Could you share your wedding day with a complete stranger?
I don't think I could. Surely it's bad enough having to share the limelight with the groom, let alone another bride.
Let's face it - it really is the bride's day. I know, shoot me down with a fascinator, but how many men have been dreaming of a horse and carriage since primary school? "Sorry boys, can we stop looking up the girls' skirts for one minute, I need to discuss my ideas for a He-Man-themed wedding." No, most men are happy if the bride is happy because they've been conditioned from an early age to understand that all they have to do is turn up (and remember to make a tear-inducing speech about their new wife, or else).
It's the girls that have idealistic views on how their perfect day should be. We're the ones who have been secretly taking notes at every wedding we've ever been to, planning how we would make a much grander entrance and due to the unfortunate incident involving the local farmer and a gun, why we wouldn't have doves.
So imagine a world in which you're given £25,000 to spend on your special day - amazeballs, time to order the chocolate fountain. Welcome to Battle of the Brides.
However, before we crack open the bubbly, there is one teeny-weeny condition - you must share your fairy tale with another bride and every detail of your day must be identical or the wedding is off.
Cue tantrums, tears and TV gold.
How can you possibly fall in love with another bride's Gothic theme when you want Hollywood glamour? And when your idea of the perfect dress is vintage lace how can you smile walking down the aisle in black?
From the wedding cars to the table decorations, the groom's outfit to the cake, these brides must agree on everything - it's enough to make any level-headed girl turn into a full-blown bridezilla in less than a minute. And that's why you're going to love it.
Did you have to make compromises on your wedding day? Perhaps you wanted your guests in fancy dress but the mother-in-law vetoed? Or maybe the vicar didn't agree that a Take That medley would be better than hymns?
Tell us your big day compromises by tweeting @skylivingonline using #battleofthebrides, or head to our Facebook page.
By Collette Collins
Thursday 3rd May
The award for craziest, twistiest, most complex plotline goes to... Ringer.
Cue wild applause as Sarah Michelle Gellar takes to the stage.
But hold on... is a complex, twisted plotline really worth an award?
Yes, yes and did I mention yes?
It's absolutely worth a small shiny statue, because although I'm not sure I have ever been totally up to speed with the all the lies, deceit, and evil, it's the thriller that never fails to, er, thrill - even if I did have to hit pause quite a few times to consult an explanatory flow-chart.
Jaw-dropping plotlines and edge-of-your seat cliff-hangers aside, as far as fashion goes I'm not sure there has ever been a more stylish show (with the obvious exception of SATC, but we're not talking about that).
How Bridget made time to scour New York's designer stores for the best handbags, sunnies and beige macs while pretending to be her dead sister is beyond me, but I do think she deserves a second award for this.
So as we gear up for tonight's finale - where, fingers crossed, our 7,436 questions will be answered - I think it's only appropriate to tackle the same question Crazy Catherine asked Bridget just before the credits rolled last week: "Whose life is so pathetic that they have to live somebody else's to be happy?"
Erm... mine?
Okay, perhaps not pathetic, and I'd like to make it clear that I will not be assuming anyone else's life anytime soon (because to be honest it looks far more complicated than fun) but let's just daydream for a while...
I think I'd have to go for Kate Middleton. Even during this hideous frizz-inducing weather we're having, Kate's hair stays curl-perfect. HOW DOES SHE DO IT? Yes, so her style may be a little safe, but her ability to effortlessly mix high-street with high-end makes me want to high-five her. Not only this, she's married to a prince - of course I'm all for women's lib, but he is a PRINCE.
How about you? As you stare out of the window watching the wettest drought we've ever had, who would you like to be? If only for one day - come on, fess up on our Facebook page or tweet @skylivingonline using #ringeronsky.
By Collette Collins
Monday 23rd April
Time to call a mediator - Steps are back together.
Last time we saw them, the feisty fivesome had agreed to meet to discuss their pop past.
Far from being a laugh-a-minute documentary, jam-packed with anecdotes about how to keep dreadlocks looking their best and embarrassing PVC moments, we soon discovered that being in one of Britain's most successful pop groups was about as fun as a party full of Simon Cowell’s exes.
Tears were shed, grievances aired and in one particular toe-curling moment, H and Lee went for a meal together - just the two of them. It was neither romantic nor heart-warming, just plain AWKWARD.
Thankfully for us, after much deliberation, Steps are leaving their baggage behind to head back on the road and give their fans the comeback tour they deserve, and our cameras will be there to capture every foot-kickin', finger-clickin' minute of it.
You have to admit, they're brave. Imagine turning back the clock and suddenly being back in your old job, surrounded by people from your past.
Far from being in one of Britain's most successful pop groups, 10 years ago I was sporting a dodgy fringe that made me look, shall we say, simple. Even now when my hairdresser suggests putting a little texture through the front I start to sweat.
I was also constantly worried I was going to fail my degree - although, looking back, this could have a bit to do with the amount of time I spent at the student union. And my working life wasn't much better - I was stuck with the nickname 'prune hands' after a summer scrubbing pots at a kids' nursery.
Now, as glamorous as all this sounds, I'm not sure I'd rush back there anytime soon.
The only benefit of going back to the past is to change it. Obviously I wouldn't get that fringe cut, and I wouldn't worry so much about staying out for one extra snakebite and black. However, that's with hindsight, and how would you learn from your mistakes if you didn't make any?
Where were you 10 years ago? Would you like to revisit your past? Tell me what you were up to and what you'd do differently on our Facebook page or tweet @skylivingonline using #stepsontheroad
By Collette Collins
Wednesday 18th April
Bones fanatics, the wait is over.
Brennan, Booth and bump are back, and you know what that means - goo, slime and all sorts of crime-scene nasties - so make sure you eat your dinner early or, at the very least, avoid adding ketchup.
Tonight, in-between untangling a super-cryptic murder and preparing for the arrival of Little Boonan (I hope this nickname catches on), the race is on to find the perfect family home.
Which isn't going to be easy… How can one house cater for a football-loving FBI agent in need of a man cave and a super-intelligent anthropologist in need of a lie down after a long day sniffing corpses?
This got me thinking, it's difficult enough living with your other half, but at least you know them. What happens when you're thrown together with a group of people you don't know?
Ah, the dreaded house share.
If you've had the misfortune of living with someone who seemed perfectly normal as they showed you around the spare room, only to turn into a complete nightmare a week later, you have my sympathy - I've been there.
My house-share disaster erupted over a nasty incident involving breaded ham. After a night out, I came home and helped myself to a single slice thinking it was mine. BIG mistake. Honestly, it was as though I'd stolen her favourite shoes and trampled them in dog muck. I honestly thought she was going to call the police.
I realised soon after 'fridge-gate' that we were incompatible and I moved out - and as a parting gift I bought her a packet of ham (she didn’t see the funny side).
I want to know about your house-share disasters - did you have to make a swift exit after a misunderstanding? Tweet us @skylivingonline using #bonesonsky or get in touch via our Facebook page.
By Collette Collins
Sunday 8th April
A holiday with a total stranger could be a lot of fun. Or a total nightmare.
Especially if the first time you saw them you turned your nose up at what they were wearing, decided they weren't good enough and ditched them in front of an audience.
Welcome to the world of Franky, last week's incredibly picky Love Machine contestant.
Holly Jay also span the wheel of fate last week. After initially liking Rich, he was quickly ditched because of a hullabaloo about crab fishing. She then had no choice but to go on holiday with the first man the Love Machine landed on. Awkward.
This may not be the most idyllic way to start a romantic break, but it does make great TV and this weekend we'll find out whether all four even made it to the Isle of Love.
Even if your holiday is with your other half and not a total stranger, the pressure to have a good time, all of the time, while not getting too close to each other's sunburn, can take the shine off even the whitest sands. Before you know it, your two weeks in Mallorca has gone from bliss to booking the first flight home in a nanosecond.
I like to think of these as 'sunstroke moments' - and I've suffered badly...
On one holiday I criticised every item of clothing my boyfriend had packed for not being 'summery enough'. Every night, loud enough for the whole of Crete to hear, he would ask, 'Is THIS summery enough for you?'
On another, I made my then-boyfriend play cards with a family we didn't know, just because I didn't have the heart to say no. We played Uno for three hours with Kitty, Tilly and their overly competitive parents. It wasn't long after this that he dumped me.
Have you had a holiday from hell with your other half? Tell me why your time in the sun turned into a disaster on our Facebook page, or tweet @skylivingonline using #thelovemachine.
And don't miss The Love Machine on Sunday at 6pm followed by juicy extras from the holidays in Love Bites at 7pm.
By Collette Collins
Monday 2nd April
Stand by your sofas, put down your 9 o'clock snack and get ready for a Top Model TWIST.
It's the big one tonight - the All-Stars finale - and boy, is it going out with a bang.
In fact, I think you're best advised to have someone on standby to perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre just in case a stray chocolate chip gets lodged. (If that is, indeed, what you're eating!)
Yes, if you thought incorporating the phrase 'Pot Ledom' (Top Model backwards) into a song during music week was a shocker, or if Tyra's use of the word 'Ty-over' instead of makeover left you stunned, tonight you simply won't know what's hit you.
Jaw-dropping aside, there can only be one winner - so will it be Angelea, Allison or Lisa?
At the start of the series, when they entered the LA mansion, little did they know the journey that lay ahead.
Actually they kind of did, these girls had seen it all before - they were the Top Model rejects who hadn't quite made it first time around. And, just like the Terminator (luckily, minus the red eyes), they were back - bigger, stronger and ready to fight.
Their determination to succeed has made Cycle 17 one to remember.
It hasn't always been about getting the perfect shot, -the girls have had to take on new challenges, from creating their own signature perfume to learning super-complex medical lingo for a guest appearance on CSI.
There have, of course, been other highlights and here are my personal favourites (in no particular order):
Mario Lopez's dimples - because they're still as deep as they were in Saved By the Bell.
"If you have the right smize you can look good in a bowl of Greek Salad."
Tyson Beckford's abs - they're quite simply amazeballs and should be available on the NHS.
Allison's watery eyes.
And finally, "Michael Jackson can save you from elimination" (kinda).
Sadly, the King of Pop won't be there to save the girls' bacon tonight. Two will face the chop and one will rise triumphant - who's your money on?
Let me know your favourite bits from the series, and what you think of the TWIST on our Facebook page or @skylivingonline.
By Collette Collins
Friday 23rd March
Time to crack open a bottle of the good stuff... Jules and Grayson are getting hitched.
Not since Scott and Charlene recited their vows to the sweet sound of Angry Anderson's 'Suddenly' have I wanted a couple to say "I do" so much. Although we may have moved on from the 80s shoulder puffs, I have a feeling this TV wedding is going to be just as epic.
But before I get carried away thinking about the big day, there's the small matter of the hen party to deal with and tradition states that it's up to Jules' two maids of honour, Laurie and Ellie, to bulk buy the red wine and make it a night to remember.
I wasn't a bridesmaid until I was 22 - this really bothered me as a young girl, because I desperately wanted to follow a bride (any bride) down the aisle in a big frock, scattering petals. When I did finally get my moment, I was old enough to hit the champs hard. I ended up in bed by 10pm and missed the first dance. Oops.
I have since walked at a slow and steady pace behind two more blushing brides and not only have I learned that you should always pace yourself when drinking bubbly, I've discovered that bridesmaid duties don't start the morning of the wedding. They officially begin when you send out the first email entitled 'hen party' to 15 women you've never met.
If you've ever had the pleasure of such an experience, you'll know it's a trying time as you desperately scour the web for the best restaurants, hotels, karaoke bars and clubs all with the obligatory 'cheap' written in the search box. Will the vegan find something to eat at Mario's Italia? Will the karaoke-hater join in for a rendition of 'I Will Survive' at 3am? Will the bride-to-be score badly in the Mr & Mrs quiz and end the night screaming "IT'S A SIGN" into her G&T?
Time will tell if Laurie and Ellie have what it takes to throw a night to remember for Jules. I reckon, as long as they keep the red wine flowing, that cul-de-sac won't know what's hit it.
I want to know your hen party horror stories - did the bride swan off with the stripper? Did you lose the mother-in-law in Margate? Or perhaps you were all happy, well-behaved hens? Tell all via our Facebook page or tweet me @skylivingonline.
By Collette Collins
Friday 16th March
First dates can be excruciating.
Where should you go? What should you wear? Will the conversation flow?
As you wrestle with your wardrobe for something that doesn't make you look like you care too much, a mild panic attack threatens - leaving you with a red glow that looks far from healthy.
Seven hours later and you're scouring a badly lit bar for a man you hope looks like Bradley Cooper. Then you see him and he looks like the back end of a bus that's due a service - and he's wearing Ferrari cufflinks.
Hours later and the situation's even worse - you realise he doesn't drive a Ferrari, he still lives with his mum and he describes himself as 'a prankster'. Go away.
So praise be for our new dating show The Love Machine - one spin of the wheel of fate (that looks slightly like a large knuckleduster) and you get to see your potential date.
If their cufflinks are offensive, or their glasses aren't your cup of tea, you get to ditch them and spin again. Okay, so it may sound shallow, but why spend hours plucking, straightening, curling and tanning, to spend a whole date with someone you didn't even fancy from the start?
In last week's show, The Love Machine churned out some pretty hot couples, but once the wheel stopped spinning and the cameras stopped rolling, did they have anything to say to each other as they sipped cocktails on their freebie holiday? Find out in our new after-show extra, Love Bites.
Does Amy still like the name Rhys? Does Cassius regret ditching Chenai? And more importantly, did he show his abs to Aphrodite Hills? Sink your teeth into all the holiday gossip from 7pm.
So as we wait to see if looks really do matter, I want to know about you. Do you believe in love at first sight? Did you fall head over heels as soon as you clocked eyes on your other half? Share your dream dates and dating disasters on our Facebook page, or tweet @skylivingonline using #thelovemachine.
By Collette Collins
Thursday 7th March
In case you've missed it, today is International Women's Day.
IWD celebrates the economic, political and social achievements of women.
It is a day to stand up and cheer those bucking the trend, the women who inspire against the odds, the doers and go-getters of the world and the ones who make a difference.
Making a list of women who inspire me hasn't been difficult. I like to think of it in terms of 'Who would I invite round for a glass of six o’clock vino?'
First through the door would be Oprah Winfrey. From extreme poverty she rose to become the first black female self-made billionaire, she's donated millions to charity, doesn't shy away from talking about her own life battles, and Tom Cruise jumped on her couch with his shoes on and she didn't seem to mind. What a legend.
My second guest would be double Olympic gold-medallist and Britain's greatest swimmer in 100 years, Rebecca Adlington. Rebecca trains for four hours a day, six days a week (not forgetting the gym sessions in-between). I'm the girl who couldn't even pick up the brick from the bottom of the pool, so Adlington can do no wrong in my eyes.
Then, late to eat and probably dressed in an outfit that'll make Oprah, Rebecca and I feel underdressed is Lady Gaga. She's the queen of provocative performance, a champion of gay rights and, as her 20 million Twitter followers can testify, she isn't afraid to ruffle a few feathers.
After a glass of wine and LOLs over Gaga's latest outfit ideas, I like to think we'd settle on my couch to watch Five - the movie we're showing in honour of International Women's Day.
The film showcases the directing talents of some of Hollywood's best-known leading ladies. Jennifer Aniston, Alicia Keys, Demi Moore, Penelope Spheeris and Patty Jenkins direct a series of overlapping stories about women affected by breast cancer.
Each story brings home the complexity of emotions associated with the disease - the confusion, sadness and setbacks. The effect on families and friends, and how even during the worst times, the human spirit still manages to muster a laugh.
Five delivers a powerful feeling of sisterhood, of togetherness and strength - just what today is all about. So, gather up the leading ladies in your life, order a takeaway and get comfy for our 9pm premiere.
I want to know the women who inspire you. Who would you invite over for canapes and a glass of wine? Let me know via our Facebook page or tweet me @skylivingonline.
By Collette Collins
Wednesday 29th February
'Is this mascara tough enough to be Grey's Anatomy-proof?'
The next time you're at the beauty counter looking for waterproof eye make-up, this is the question you need to ask the assistant...
If she looks at you blankly, take your custom elsewhere - she clearly doesn't understand the need for a product that allows you to weep openly at the highs and lows of life inside Seattle Grace, while staying streak-free.
One situation bound to get the tear ducts going more than any other, is when the ‘Gods In Scrubs’ challenge themselves to a 'once-in-a-lifetime surgery' (words no patient wants to hear as they're counting backwards from 10). And tonight they're at it again, driven to accomplish the impossible - and they’re all in it together.
Thankfully, there to help make sense of the emotional overload is master of insightfulness Guru Meredith. (Clearly the 'Guru' part isn't on her name badge, but it should be.) Her words of wisdom conclude every episode with a much needed life lesson.
If you're an avid reader of self-help books, step away from Learn To Sing Like A Bird In Spring and listen to Mezza instead - it'll save you £30 and nearly everything she says can be related back to that situation with your ex...
"So, we may not always be winners but we're not lazy. We take chances. We go for broke, swing for the fences and sometimes, yeah, we strike out. But sometimes you get a home run."
Meredith Grey, Season 8, Episode 7 - 'Put Me In, Coach'
Away from Meredith's insightful thoughts, I learned my favourite life lesson from a magazine years ago (please insert plinky-plonky music here and breathe deeply as I impart my words of wisdom)...
Don't believe everything you think.
Wowsers. Deep.
To be honest, Mezza would probably throw that one straight into the surgical wastebin. Her words are far superior, leaving you inexplicably nodding your head while whispering, 'I get you Meredith, I get you.'
So if you're done scouring the self-help aisle in search of the next book to give you that Eureka moment, let Guru Meredith teach you a thing or two instead - the woman's good, and after all that drama her words will help you sleep better, too.
Let me know your favourite life lesson from Guru Meredith, or impart some words of wisdom of your own via the Facebook page or @skylivingonline using #greysanatomyonsky.
By Collette Collins
Thursday 23rd February
Ringer's double-crossing, identity stealing ex-addict Bridget is in a right old pickle.
In fact, the word pickle doesn't quite do her 3,426 lies justice - she's a master fibber, a gold medallist in deceit and has clearly never heard of 'the boy who cried wolf'.
Aside from the fact she's stolen her sister's identity (not to mention her husband, her amazing wardrobe and her best friend - who is now dead) she's lied about a pregnancy, tried to outwit the FBI and hung around with strange men in turtlenecks.
To work out her twisted web of lies you need a strong coffee and a flow chart - but boy, once you get your head around it all, it's worth every double-crossing second, because this is the series that just keeps on giving. You really never know what's going to happen next.
Bridget has taught us that identity theft comes with a designer suitcase full of baggage. Most of the time you're lonely as you try to figure out who you're meant to be, who you can trust and, more importantly, to never judge a man in a turtle neck (even if he is your sister's lover, who now expects to be your lover, who also happens to be the father of your sister's baby). Can somebody pass me the flow chart please?
Putting all of the messy business aside, let's pretend for one miniscule moment that stealing another's identity is legal and won't lead to a six-month stretch in a stripy onesie - who would you trade places with? For me, the obvious springs to mind - someone who is over 5'3" (I learned recently that I am not 5'6" as I've been telling myself for years), preferably with a holiday home in Lake Como. I'd like them to have over 22 followers on Twitter and, if possible, to be friends with the Branson family (always fancied a trip to Necker Island). I'm not sure if this person exists, although strangely I feel like I'm describing George Clooney (and I'm not sure I can pass as him).
Clearly, I need to get my head out of the clouds and stop daydreaming about sipping vino at Lake Como - it's not going to happen and besides, if stealing someone's identity means my life would be as complicated as Bridget's, I haven't got the time to keep up (plus I am rubbish with flow charts).
If you could steal someone else's identity and avoid time at her Majesty's pleasure, who would you choose? Let me know via our Facebook page or tweet @skylivingonline using #ringeronsky.
By Collette Collins
Wednesday 15th February
Think back to the place where you grew up...
Was there one boy that all the girls fancied? Was it the way he wore double denim, or his blonde flowing curtains? (Ahem, Nick Carter.) Perhaps it was the faint moustache that meant he was the only one who could get served?
In the small town of Chance Harbour, it's all very different.
Jake (the good-looking one) has far more about him than an ability to open bottles with his teeth... He knows STUFF.
Stuff so shockingly juicy that The Secret Circle had to take a mid-season break, just so we could take a long lie-down to get our heads around it all.
Tonight, it's time to get answers - just where did Jake sail off to?
If the super-powerful Cassie is not the only child of Blackwell, where are the others hiding?
And will they be impossibly beautiful, too?
Also - and this has been troubling me - Does ‘Cassie explores her dark side’ mean she'll have her head over a bath applying a rich chestnut shade to her blonde locks?
The return of TV's greatest witchy shenanigans has also got me thinking, wouldn't it be great to have magic powers? No more sitting on public transport next to someone with body odour - after one stir of the cauldron, their underarms would suddenly smell like freshly cut grass.
And who wouldn't want the chance to wave their magic wand at a low-cost airline, transforming it into a private jet, complete with enough leg room for your five-foot-long legs (which magically appeared after your 'Supermodel Legs' spell)?
Sadly, as we've seen from the Chance Harbour gang, spells can't always be used for the greater good. There's danger in their magic, and tonight the circle is back together and even more powerful than before (cue snap of lightning and the 'da da la la la' title music that freaks me out at the start of every show).
So, if you were able to cast crafty spells on others, what would get your magic wand firing? Let me know on our Facebook page or tweet @skylivingonline using #secretcircle.
By Collette Collins
Tuesday 7th February
The Biggest Loser is a winter warning.
When snow hits Blighty and the mercury dips below freezing my body goes into survival mode, convincing me the only way to make it to spring is to hibernate with a large duvet and a sticky toffee pudding.
Of course, I can't do this - not just because getting crumbs in the bed freaks me out, but because I'm scared that one day too many puddings will end with me as a contestant on The Biggest Loser, dragging a tyre across a ranch in America while Jillian the fitness trainer shouts, "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THAT TOFFEE MUCK, COLLINS."
The Biggest Loser takes shifting the bulge to a whole new level. This is hardcore - SERIOUSLY hardcore - and often, the last chance the overweight contestants have to avoid an early grave. After weeks of puking on treadmills, passing out and weeping as Jillian shouts, "AGAIN, AGAIN" like a hyperactive child, the brave soul with the highest percentage weight loss is crowned the winner, collecting a quarter of a million dollars to burn a whole in the pocket of their (now much smaller pair of) jeans.
The jaw-dropping results the contestants accomplish in such a short space of time has made me realise it is possible to achieve the impossible, as long as you stop daydreaming about Bradley Cooper and set yourself a challenge. If I really applied myself (now I sound like every teacher I ever had) perhaps I could run the London marathon? Jump out of a plane? Or learn Italian?
Often the hardest part is getting started - for the Biggest Loser contestants it's the initial weigh-in, when the magnitude of what they face hits home. For me, it would be the realisation that it's going to take a lot longer than I thought to be able to order a large glass of red wine from a hot Italian waiter.
Have you set yourself a challenge for 2012? Perhaps you've decided to lose weight like the inspirational Biggest Loser contestants? Overcome a fear? Climb a mahoosive mountain? Post what you plan to do or what you've already achieved on our Facebook page or tweet @SkyLivingOnline using #TheBiggestLoser.
By Collette Collins
Friday 3rd February
For every Criminal Minds fan who has ever found themselves thinking ‘what would Prentiss do?’ tonight is a very special day, because after a series break that seemed to go on longer than Katie and Peter’s war of words, the FBI’s Behavioural Analyst Unit have dusted down their flak jackets and reloaded their guns, ready to tap into the mind of another psycho killer.
In the first episode back, there’s a new twist on an old case - which means after 20 minutes I’ll be pausing the TV, declaring with gusto, ‘It’s him, it’s DEFINITELY him’, only to be left red faced when I realise the caretaker was quite clearly an extra and only in one scene.
Oh well, that’s half the fun isn’t it? Playing along, trying to be as cool as the BAU whilst sipping something fabulous - not only is tonight’s return a dark and twisted corker, Spencer Reid is at the heart of the case, which means more than a few close ups of the ex-model.
Sadly, his toothy grin may not feature as much as we’d like, because Reid is feeling far from his usual genius-like self. He’s having, what I call the ‘29 year old heebie-geebies’. Yep, he’s hurtling towards the big three-oh wondering what on earth he’s done with his life.
Now, I don’t want to down-play his anxieties, but he is working for the FBI, he can sniff out a wrong’un at ten paces and if his amazeballs career fails he could always re-train as a Mark Owen lookalike. But I guess this isn’t the point? He feels he hasn’t lived up to his own expectations. Yes Doctor, this is a clear case of the heebs.
I suffered from a bad bout of this last year, displaying all the classic signs – declarations of giving it all up to travel the world (I’m not sure how I was going to afford this) endlessly staring at the corners of my eyes wondering how many crow’s feet warrants a face lift, sulking when I wasn’t asked for ID and finally, in the darkest hour, wanting to shout out on a packed train ‘How did I get SO OLD!!?’.
Thankfully there is help –you, a bar, and your best mates trying to convince you 30 is the new 20 – works a treat.
So, like Spencer are you having a 29 year crisis? Are you worried you haven’t done enough, seen enough, saved enough people in remote places you couldn’t find on a map? Tell me all about it on our Sky Living Facebook page or tweet @SkyLivingOnline using #criminalmindsonsky.
By Collette Collins
Monday 23rd January
The late Roy Castle once said: "Dedication is all you need."
I'm not sure if cult classic Record Breakers was a hit in America, but somehow his message has made it across the Atlantic and buried itself deep in the psyche of some previously dumped Top Model wannabes.
Now, these tough cookies have returned (like a very leggy phoenix rising from the ashes) ready to pout, cry, shout and smize their way back to glory - high-five, girlfriend.
However, before I get carried away high-fiving, for two the dream is already over, because just as Brittany and Sheena were unpacking their 'been there, done that, got the T-shirt' T-shirts, the bubble burst for a second time and Tyra let them go (again). So now we're left with just 12 girls determined to grab their second chance with both hands.
You've got to hand it to them, they're brave - could you go back to something you've given up on and try again?
The only time I've been determined not to give up (apart from when I had a row with someone who genuinely believed John Torrode was called Jonty Rhode) is when I failed my driving test three times. It was mortifying - most friends would give me a wide berth as I walked into a room, like I'd physically lost all sense of coordination and might run into them.
I was determined not to give up, even when the examiner said "you again" as I arrived slightly pink with apprehension. Finally, on my fourth attempt, in a silver car, on National Cleavage Day (which, I hasten to add, had nothing to do with it) I passed, and 12 years later I'll take anyone on in a parallel parking competition.
So, all hail the girls on Cycle 17 of America's Next Top Model - for they are not your average runway wannabes. They've got fire in their bellies and they're not afraid to show it.
If you had a second shot at something you flunked first time around, would you give it a go? Perhaps you refused to give up on something or someone and came out on top? Fess up and let me know how determined you are by tweeting @SkyLivingOnline #ANTMOnSky or head to the Sky Living Facebook page.
By Collette Collins
Tuesday 17th January
Carrie Wells is a feisty former detective in new TV drama Unforgettable.
She can remember everything that has ever happened to her. Every memory is safely tucked away in her frontal lobe (or is it the back lobe? Is it even called a lobe?) ready to be unlocked and used against a dodgy criminal when her ex-colleagues come knocking.
Think about this for a minute - she can remember EVERYTHING. Well, apart from (and this is the problem) what happened the day of her sister's murder - but let's not split hairs here. The girl has the gift of total recall, meaning she'll never be the friend who forgets a birthday, why she walked into a room or what she changed her password to.
I wonder if this is the ultimate 'gift'? I'm not so sure.
It also means remembering the moments that make your toes curl, even if you only think about them for a nanosecond. Who wants to remember the hurtful things an ex said in the heat of an argument, that moment you walked into a glass door because it had just been cleaned, or the look on everyone's faces when you wore a feathered boob tube to see in the Millennium?
No, there's got to be better 'gifts' than perfect recall?
How about the gift of blow-dry perfection? So every time you style your hair, you really do look like you've just stepped out of a salon. Or the gift of feet that never blister? The need for a 24-hour chemist that sells plasters becomes a thing of the past as you skip along in six-inch heels. What about the gift of sniffing out the perfect sale item? As others scour the rack of doom, your inner alarm sounds and before you know it, you've bagged a bargain, leaving others weeping at your feet.
For me, it would have to be the gift of perfect style - the ability to open my wardrobe and know instinctively what's going to work for any social event, from the cinema to drinks with friends - so that I look effortlessly chic and not at all like I've raided a dressing-up cupboard.
If you could be like Carrie Wells and have a special gift, what would it be? Get in touch via the Sky Living Facebook page or tweet @SkyLivingOnline #UnforgettableOnSky
By Collette Collins
Wednesday 11th January
January is an odd month, isn't it?
It starts with such optimism as you link arms with complete strangers and belt out a song you don't know the words to.
This is generally quickly followed by a hushed conversation with your best friend as you declare, "This is the year, THIS is the year." What you meant by that isn't quite so clear when you wake up under a pile of coats, but at least everyone liked your dress...
Then there's your extreme New Year's resolution to live by, which means one of two things: you really do take up a short course in Latin or you spend 31 days regretting announcing that "Latin is not a dead language, I'll show you, I'm up for a bit of Pompeii".
But enough about my New Year's Eve...
January is also the month you regret overindulging in December and vow to shape up once and for all. If this sounds like you, you may be in need of some weight-loss motivation. So grab that salad, pour your eighth glass of water and check out Sky Living HD's new show Bigger Than...
Not only are these girls attempting to drop two or three dress sizes, they're following the diet secrets of their pop idols and, after a gruelling eight-week process, the girl who makes the most stunning transformation will win a lookalike contract with one of the UK's top agencies.
Last week, to get Beyonce's bootylicious bod, the girls had to live off one egg and a bunch of spinach for breakfast (yummy). Tonight, it's the turn of Lady Gaga's little monsters to prove they're 'on the edge of glory' when it comes to their weight loss. Who knows what treats await? Perhaps they’ll wear a dress of meat and peel off a slice of Parma ham every time they get a little peckish? One thing's for sure, to get a body like Gaga and bag a boy like Alejandro, pizza's going to be off the menu.
If you had to sweat it out and style up to look like your favourite celeb, who would it be? Fancy Madonna's toned physique? Or perhaps you'd prefer Kelly Brook's amazing curves? Let me know who gives you body envy on the Sky Living Facebook page or tweet @SkyLivingOnline #BiggerThan.
By Collette Collins
Wednesday 28th December
The Grey's Anatomy team take multi-tasking to a whole new level.
Have you noticed how many times they've been in the middle of saving someone's life and still found time to talk about their love life/adoption trauma/what they're having for dinner? This must take a very special kind of brain - if it were me, I'd be the first to scream: "Can everyone stop talking about pigs in blankets until I've sewn this fella up?"
However, tonight's mid-season finale proves that the gods in scrubs are still only human, as Jackson (the doctor with the world's most amazing eyes) makes a huge operational no-no.
Perhaps it was the time of year that threw him? I've spent the last few days not knowing what day it is - this happens after Christmas, doesn't it? All days seem to merge into one as you haplessly try to find new ways to eat turkey.
Then there's the NYE plans. Do you go out? Stay in? Hide? It's all too much to think about. Not only this, but after one too many spoonfuls of brandy butter, that perfect LBD suddenly looks more OMG. But who cares? Everyone's in the same over-indulged boat and, besides, that's what Christmas is for - to make shares in elasticated waistbands go up.
Of course the gorgeous doctors at Seattle Grace don't have to worry about looking anything less than perfect. Then again, after tonight's jaw-dropping episode they'll have a whole lot more to keep them awake at night. One thing's for sure, I wouldn't want to be any one of them this New Year's Eve.
What have you loved most about Grey's Season 8 so far? And which character will you miss the most while it takes a break? Let me know your thoughts on our Facebook page or tweet @skylivingonline with the hashtag #GreysOnSky.
And don't worry, Grey's fans, because Season 8 will be back with more brand new episodes in 2012.
By Collette Collins
Friday 23rd December
Are you a fugitive on the run?
Time to whip off that camouflage and breathe a huge sigh of relief, because after an action-packed season chasing down criminals, Annie Frost and her fellow US Marshalls have reached the final episode of Jerry Bruckheimer's Chase.
Although this is painful news (due to my unhealthy obsession with Jesse Metcalfe), I understand America's number one jean-loving Marshall deserves a long soak in the bath with a large glass of pinot - or, better still, perhaps a mini-break with Jimmy?
The end of the season saw Annie experience a string of flashbacks (not like the ones you get after a big night out). Our tough girl was forced to deal with memories she'd buried deep since childhood, which got me thinking: if you could go back in time and relive one moment from your life, would you?
I think I'd go back to the moment I thought it was a good idea to wear brand new red jeans on a rainy day - they ran so badly, I swear, 15 years on my legs are still a little candy-floss pink.
Or, perhaps I'd go back to Christmas past? When I still believed the big guy travelled from chimney to chimney in one night. Back then it was all about eating chocolate and unwrapping presents, hunting down AA batteries and not eating sprouts. Now, it's more about keeping gift receipts and finding a parking space as close to customer collections as possible.
As nice as it is to reminisce, however, there's no point looking back, is there? Onwards and upwards, I say, because if I did go back to my childhood again I'd have to sit through the trauma of double maths on a Monday.
Is there a time in your life you'd go back to in a flash? Share your stories on our Facebook page or tweet @skylivingonline #ChaseOnSky.
By Collette Collins
Friday 16th December
Criminal Minds follows the work of the FBI's BAU team.
A group of geniuses that have unpicked the dark mind of a serial killer more times than Derek Morgan has worn sunglasses. Each team member has their own unique case-cracking skill, vital when it comes to tracking down and banging up a psychopath.
Computer geek Penelope Garcia (loves to colour-clash) describes the team as "the BAU family" - once you're in, everyone's got your back, which is just as well, because this lot get shot and stabbed A LOT.
Psychological profiling aside, I like to think they'd be the people to call when you can't find your car keys in the morning. Hotch would rock up, nostrils flared, looking for signs you're hiding something. And then, after much pacing and chin stroking, he'd declare: "They're in the downstairs loo" before the team, all guns blazing, rush out to solve a more pressing domestic issue.
Perhaps we can all learn from the BAU's skills this Christmas by analysing our nearest and dearest? Why not try psyching out your nan, Hotch-stylee, just before the board game gets wheeled out? Before you know it, she'll be shouting: "It's me, I'm Professor Plum and yes it was the wooden spoon, now where's my sherry?"
That's not really in the Christmas spirit, though, is it? Perhaps we should focus on the positive instead? The BAU's use of teamwork, for example. Where better to apply this than during an old-fashioned game of Charades? Let's face it, after a few eggnogs and a pile of mince pies, it's best we all work together to figure out why mum's mime of Steps Reunion looks more like a Greek tragedy.
But what do you think of Criminal Minds? Who's your favourite BAU team member? To let me know, just head to the Sky Living Facebook page or tweet @SkyLivingOnline using #CrimMindsOnSky.
By Collette Collins
Tuesday 6th December
Interviews can be intimidating and nerve-wracking, to say the least.
But after you've sold yourself, fibbed about loving martial arts and promised not to use the company's internet for anything other than research, you get to go home. And then there's nothing for it but to put your feet up and wait for the phone to ring.
You may have lied about what you like to do in your spare time - best not to come clean about scouring the net for pictures of Bradley Cooper or writing for-and-against lists for waxing. Instead you say you enjoy furthering your Spanish or, like me, you love to knit - which, in my defence, I only said because the interviewer was wearing a crochet top so bad it was all I could think about.
The very worst a 'normal' job interview can get is a group assessment day. A two-hour ordeal to prove you can sit in a semicircle, play the trust game with some bloke in a Daffy Duck tie and smile NO MATTER WHAT. It's not ideal, but after you've ripped off your name tag and ordered friends to the bar for an emergency mojito, it's over.
The same can't be said for the girls on ANTM. Boy, do they go through it. One minute they're trying to smize* on top of a pile of rubbish, the next they're sitting on a camel trying to forget the fact their faces are melting in the sun. And on top of all this, they have to live together. Can you imagine the horror of having to wait for the really annoying bloke who copies everything everyone else says to get out of the loo? Or having to share milk with 13 other people desperate to prove they can mail-merge and make tea at the same time?
Whoever makes it through the process to take the Top Model crown will need one huge pat on the back (or, better still, a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl cosmetics, a contract with IMG Models, the cover of Beauty in Vogue and a spread in Vogue Italia). Simply asking, 'How did it go?' isn't going to cut the mustard with these girls - not unless you've got five hours for them to tell you all about a girl called Alexandria.
So what's the worst interview lie you've ever told? Have you experienced the torture of a group assessment day? To fess up and come clean, head to the Sky Living Facebook page or tweet @SkyLivingOnline using #ANTMOnSky. I promise not to judge - well, not in a Top Model way, anyway.
*Smize: "To smile with your eyes" (Tyra Banks, cycle 13)
By Collette Collins
Wednesday 30th November
Will this be a case of happy ever after?
Over the last six seasons the romantic tension between Brennan and Booth has been tighter than Christina Aguilera's dresses. But finally, after a stack of 'will they, won't they' shenanigans, they did - and now Brennan is preggers with a mini Booth, hoorah. Well, not quite.
Before we dig out the banners and throw them a baby shower, the duo must overcome a mahoosive hurdle - moving in together.
It's not going to be a walk in the park for these two - Brennan has already shockingly announced that she doesn't want a TV... I know she's quirky, but come on, surely after a day sniffing rotting corpses a dose of America's Next Top Model is just what the shrink ordered?
So could this be a sign of their incompatibility?
Or is it just that age-old issue of compromise?
If you've made the leap, you'll know it’s never easy. A relationship can quickly go from 'Stay over, let's wake up together' to 'Can you shift your weight to the sofa, mate? You sound like a dog on heat.'
Then there’s the issue of what to eat every night, his metabolism can burn off that big plate of stodge, your backside thinks an extra layer of fat will keep you warm in winter.
Then there's the mess. I know I'm biased but girly mess is somehow neater - a stray perfume bottle, a moisturiser without a lid, not football boots covered in dried mud accumulated over four seasons (and still no winning goal).
Back in the dating days, you could fool him that getting ready takes no time at all - he doesn't need to know that you started plucking at 2pm for your date at 8pm. But once you've got the same front door key, the realisation hits him - your hair is not naturally straight and yes, a leave-in conditioner is absolutely necessary before the cinema.
So what about you? What compromises have you made for a life under the same roof? Was moving in a breeze? Or do you have a list of things you'd change about your man in a nanosecond? Perhaps it's you that leaves a wet towel on the bed? I want to hear your shacking-up tales - tweet me @SkyLivingOnline with the hashtag #BonesOnSky, or head to our Facebook page.
By Collette Collins
Friday 26th November
So this is what I look like.
Did you imagine me with dark hair? Someone once said she thought I'd have a really big nose - perhaps it’s the way I say, "Coming up next", clearly in need of rhinoplasty.
I am one of three channel announcers for Sky Living HD, I'm the girl who speaks before and after The Secret Circle, Bones and BINTM to name just a few. It may sound like a cushy job - but believe it or not there's more to it than just watching TV (honest).
A typical day starts with me trying to squeeze my car into a non-existent parking space at Sky HQ - honestly, if the 2012 Olympics had a parking event I'd be on that podium waving a gold medal, weeping tears of joy.
Once in the office and with a cuppa on the go, my producer Harriet talks me through 'the plan' - not for world domination, but to highlight the shows I need to tell you about. I'm very lucky and often get to watch shows before they go to air, so if I see an OMG moment in America's Next Top Model that I think you're going to love, I'll tease you with it in my scripts. We don't want you to miss out on our great line-up, so it's my job to keep you in the loop about what time your favourite shows are on and why you've got to dump your to-do list, plonk yourself on the sofa and dig in.
Gone are the days when TV continuity used to be quite formal - now it’s all about personality. We're the voice of a channel that prides itself on being glamorous, cheeky and fun, and our scripts have to reflect that.
Believe it or not, a whopping 77% of viewers listen to what I say (clearly my bloke's in the 23%). I'm like a real-life billboard, TV mag or advert at the bus stop, here to help you make up your mind about what to watch after a long day at the office. I might even tempt you with shows you might like over on one of Sky's other channels, tell you about our brilliant content on the Sky Living website and, in case you missed Drop Dead Diva on Friday night (too busy sipping Margaritas), I'll tell you when you can catch up.
After I've spent the morning researching upcoming shows, writing and daydreaming about marrying David Boreanaz, Harriet checks my scripts for mistakes before sending them to Compliance - a team of people who make sure I haven't said anything I shouldn't. I haven’t met Compliance, but I imagine they're pretty serious until the Christmas party when they GO FOR IT. After they've issued the relevant warnings - "flashing images", "scenes of nudity" and "strong language" - I head off to the booth to record. This is the part I love: talking to you - it's great to chat with you about Cassie and her powers, Booth's brooding eyes and Tyra's jaw-dropping monologues. I just hope after a long day of meetings about meetings, you don't mind an extra person in your living room (I promise I won't shout).
By Collette Collins
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